Corporate Apple - Hungry? But you can't have it

  • Posted on: 24 November 2014
  • By: Readers Abode
Corporate Apple - Hungry? but you can't eat it

You have an apple in front of you. If you wish you can eat it. This is Life.

But it's not the same with corporate apple. There is a procedure that has to be followed.

You have an apple in front of you. Even if you wish, you can't eat it. You need to get an approval from your manager to confirm that the apple is plucked from the tree and can be eaten. Your Project Manager should assign you as a resource to the task of eating an apple.

Your tech-lead will check the quality of the apple, if the quality is met, you will be called to see if you have enough knowledge in eating an apple. His decision implies whether you can eat the apple or should you be provided with another training session in eating an apple and hand over you with a "How to eat an apple design".doc.

You have to confirm to eat the apple and change the status of the jira to "Eating In Progress".

Meanwhile, the apple may be rotten. Now you don’t have a chance to change your decision of eating it. You have to eat that apple because your feedback/appraisal is at stake.

Even before you have a bite of it, your project manager enquires if you can finish eating it by the next working day. Meanwhile your tech-lead will review your modus operandi and check if you are following the design doc. Now you are asked to change the status of jira to “done eating an apple”.

After all your hard work, working day and night in trying to finish eating an apple, your project manager takes the credit of eating the apple alone. Drops a mail to the client with Manager, Tech-lead cc’ed, saying “we are the best in eating an apple”.

A QA resource will be given a similar apple (they say it is similar, but you initially get a lot of dissimilarities in color, breed i.e configuration issues) to eat and test your way of eating an apple. If the QA reports the tip has been left out. You have to swallow it without someone noticing.

The apple may be the product here. But, it’s you who is the victim.

This is corporate life.

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I got this campus placement with hefty package at a product based company. I was all happy, on cloud-9 when the results were announced. But all this happiness is lost within a few months. I now understand how life is gonna be here.

I am not frustrated here, it’s just that I had freedom at my College, expected to enjoy and explore my life in every possible way. But now I have understood how a corporate apple tastes :P

(Author wishes not to disclose her name.)